Key events
… and finally the Scottish Premiership …
Simon McMahon, our pal on the nippy sweeties, reports: “Dundee United seeing it out as comfortably as my Macallan High Commissioner and Cherry Pepsi is going down. One other score of note from the Scottish Championship: Marvin Bartley’s Stenhousemuir beat Arbroath 1-0 and are currently five points clear at the top, ahead of the more fancied Partick, Raith Rovers, Dunfermline and Livingston.”
… and in the Championship …
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Birmingham City 2-2 Middlesbrough
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Burnley 1-1 Derby County
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Cardiff City 3-1 Charlton Athletic
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Lincoln City 1-2 Swansea City
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Millwall 2-2 West Ham United
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Portsmouth 2-2 Blackburn Rovers
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Queens Park Rangers 2-2 Preston North End
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Stoke City 2-1 Sheffield United
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Wrexham 2-1 Southampton
Premier League full-times
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Brighton and Hove Albion 3-0 Arsenal
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Everton 1-0 Ipswich Town
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Newcastle United 2-1 Hull City
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Tottenham Hotspur 2-3 Aston Villa
FULL TIME: Everton 1-0 Hull City
… as do the Toffees.
FULL TIME: Newcastle United 2-1 Hull City
The Magpies hold on …
FULL TIME: Brighton 3-0 Arsenal
There’s just enough time for Declan Rice to lash out petulantly at Malick Yalcouye. He’s lucky just to get a yellow. And then the whistle goes. Brighton can get their 125th birthday party started in earnest now! A result for the ages against the usually parsimonious champions.
… and there’s more Championship drama at Turf Moor. Burnley were so close to their first win of the season, leading Derby going into injury time thanks to Zeki Amdouni’s first-half goal. But Mohammed Fuseini equalises deep into injury time, the whistle goes, and the boos ring out. Head coach Nicky Hayen’s coat on a shoogly peg.
Seems it might be a banner day for QPR after all. You’ll remember them going two goals and a man down early on at home against Preston? Well, Kwame Poku halved the deficit on 66 minutes, and now Paul Smyth has salvaged a point for the Rs on the 90! It’s 2-2 at Loftus Road.
In the Championship, Wrexham have scored a late, late winner against Southampton, surely. Or more accurately, they’ve had it scored for them. Keven Schlotterbeck turns into his own net with a minute of normal time to go.
Brighton 3-0 Arsenal. Now Matt O’Riley’s clean through, but he can’t slot past David Raya. Arsenal, and their famous defence, could have been on the end of a proper thrashing this afternoon. This scoreline seriously flatters the champions.
Brighton 3-0 Arsenal. Gabriel nearly puts a tin lid on it for Arsenal, miscuing a clearance straight into Matt O’Riley’s startled face, the ball nearly rebounding into the net. David Raya in the right place at the right time.
Everton 1-0 Ipswich Town. Everton have a two-on-one to seal the deal … but Harrison Armstrong takes the shot on himself, missing the target. Kiernan Dewsbury-Hall, all alone, fumes theatrically.
Brighton 3-0 Arsenal. Mikel Arteta sends Max Dowman on … while plenty of the Arsenal fans slope off. The champions have been utterly outplayed on the south coast.
Newcastle United 2-1 Hull City. Newcastle would have been three goals to the good had Yoane Wissa buried his penalty. But now the hosts are hanging on a bit. Mohamed Belloumi shoots; Lukas Hornicek saves. St James’ Park pensive as one.
Brighton 3-0 Arsenal. Kai Havertz is sent clean through … only to send a weak shot straight at Bart Verbruggen. It’s simply not Arsenal’s day. “If Arsenal hadn’t concentrated so much on manoeuvring players out of the way at that corner, there’d have been more of a challenge on Chema Andrés,” argues Andy (not that one) Flintoff. “Just sayin’.”
GOAL! Newcastle United 2-1 Hull City (Cho 67)
Mohamed-Ali Cho comes on for Sorba Thomas, and moments later he’s curling home to slash Newcastle’s lead in half. The Toon’s proud half-time record – see 4.10pm – isn’t safe yet!
Brighton 3-0 Arsenal. The Seagulls flying, and after more. Charalampos Kostoulas goes over in the environs of Ezri Konsa but isn’t getting a penalty; Pascal Struijk, on his full debut for Brighton, sends a header inches wide. “That Brighton strip does indeed cut a Bella figura, as they say in Italy,” agrees Justin Kavanagh. “And Giovanni Cafagna’s comparison (3.35pm) got me thinking that there are now a lot of 12-year-olds in the world who have never seen an Italian team in a World Cup finals. That’s awful sad! I actually got a beautiful Italian shirt in Sorrento earlier this year, and when I asked the guy how much, he laughed and said ‘It’s Italy 2026… we pay YOU to take it away!’”
As for our offer of a nip of the 1926 Macallan to Simon McMahon … “Perfect. Make it a Cherry Pepsi though please. Dundee United’s Cameron and Tait running the show in midfield like a prime Eamonn Bannon and Billy Kirkwood. Haven’t felt this good since we beat Morton 4-0 in 1983.”
RED CARD: Everton 1-0 Ipswich Town. Abdul Fatawu is sent off. Two yellows, the second for a dive. He doesn’t argue the toss, and simply slinks off in disgrace.
Brighton 3-0 Arsenal. No response so far from the Gunners. On this subject, here’s Rick Harris: “Manchester United got pelters for losing to the Seagulls on Wednesday but they are showing that they are actually a serious top-four contender and making Arsenal look as poor as Carrick’s team did at Old Trafford.”
Everton 1-0 Ipswich Town. Thierno Barry heads home from Kiernan Dewsbury-Hall’s corner. The goal’s initially given, but VAR calls the ref over to the screen. Brennan Johnson is adjudged to have been standing in an offside position and interfering with goalkeeper Christian Walton. There will be debates, online and on-air, but after the brouhaha over Manchester City’s winner in the derby, the officials were never going to allow that one through in the current climate. Rightly or wrongly.
GOAL! Brighton 3-0 Arsenal (Chema Andrés 57)
Arsenal are hoist by their own petard, as Chema Andrés crashes one home from a corner. Brighton en fête x 3 + 125.
Everton 1-0 Ipswich Town. Jordan Pickford is staking his claim for player of the match award. He’s already made a couple of big saves, and here’s another, from Abdoul Ouattara’s long-range rake. Everton are still holding onto their lead, but they’re making hard work of it.
Not a great deal happening in the Premier League at the start of the second half. James Ward-Prowse meanwhile has levelled up for Southampton at Wrexham on 50 minutes.
Here’s a statistic for you, courtesy of the British Broadcasting Corporation: Newcastle have never lost a Premier League game at home having been two or more goals ahead at the break (W68 D4). So Hull are in a spot of bother here. But then look what happened to Manchester United during the week: until Brighton rocked up to Old Trafford on Wednesday night, United hadn’t lost at home after leading at half-time since Ipswich pulled it off in 1984 … and they’d not shipped a two-goal lead at home since doing so against Spurs in 1976. Both records gone in a puff of smoke. Over to you, Hull.
Brighton 2-0 Arsenal. Up until now, Arsenal had only conceded three goals in their first seven games in all competitions: one when they were caught cold very early doors against Chelsea, the other two when their second string were already four to the good in the League Cup at Ipswich. So this is kind of new ground for them this season, though they did ship a couple of big chances on the counter against Napoli, and Brighton seem to have done a similar number on them today. Seven straight wins to date; number eight is tantalisingly out of reach right now. “Yes, granted that the Brighton kit is absolutely gorgeous,” admits Gunners fan Charles Antaki. “Maybe its purity and splendour is mesmerising the Arsenal players? Certainly they’re giving every indication of being in some sort of daze. Full marks to them for aesthetic appreciation, but nil for actual football-playing. Arteta’s team talk will be something along those lines.”
Ooh la la la, he’s Simon McMahon, and he’s got stories from the north. “Dundee United 3-0 up at St Mirren at half time. Those two early goals were followed by a St Mirren penalty and a United red card both overturned on review by VAR, then a third for United on the stroke of half time. What a tonic for returning United manager Jimmy Goodwin, and indeed Arabs everywhere. Mine’s a Macallan. Aberdeen and Dundee lead Hibs and Motherwell respectively.”
Premier League half-times
… and so as things stand, here’s how the Premier League table looks midway through phase three of six of matchday five. (This isn’t going to catch on, is it?)
Newcastle United 2-0 Hull City. Sorba Thomas tap-tackles Jacob Murphy on the ankle … and it’s a penalty for the Toon! But Yoane Wissa’s effort is weak, allowing Konstantinos Tzolakis to become the hero. Hull not quite out of it yet!
GOAL! Brighton 2-0 Arsenal (Kostoulas 45)
Another long-range belter, this time by Charalampos Kostoulas, and Arsenal’s perfect start to the season is in serious jeopardy now.
Our man Dominic Booth is at Turf Moor, and here’s his dispatch with the home side 1-0 up against Derby.
Burnley are in front of Turf Moor – and deservedly so, albeit this game has clearly shown two teams short of confidence. Zeki Amdouni’s header from a Lucas Pires corner has secured the lead for Nicky Hayen’s side. If they can hold onto this lead, it would represent Burnley’s first home win (in 90 minutes) since October last year – and their first league victory of any description since February. It would also lift them off the bottom of the Championship, where they would be replaced by their opponents, Derby. It’s been a grim old time for the Clarets lately, and off-field issues still plague the club, but perhaps there will be some respite today.
Wrexham have taken the lead at home against Southampton. Kieffer Moore from a corner on 35 minutes. While Brighton are celebrating their 125th anniversary, Wrexham are marking one of their own … but it’s a much more solemn, poignant affair. Today is the 92nd anniversary of a disaster at nearby Gresford Colliery that claimed 266 lives. Every one is named in today’s matchday programme, and there was a minute of silent remembrance before kick-off.
Everton 1-0 Ipswich Town. Emersonn heads a Jack Clarke cross wide of the target. On the touchline, David Moyes wears the exasperated look of a man who wishes he could be anywhere else. Sunderland, Old Trafford, Real Sociedad, perhaps? The San Sebastian film festival is on, so there’s that.
Brighton 1-0 Arsenal. Brighton’s 125th-anniversary kit is lovely, isn’t it? “I’ve just turned the telly on to watch Brighton v Arsenal and for a moment I thought it’s the Azzurri wearing the 1970s World Cup kit,” writes Giovanni Cafagna. “Have I just said Italy playing at the World Cup? Surely not.”
GOAL! Brighton 1-0 Arsenal (Gross 31)
So much for Arsenal getting back into the game at the Amex! Pascal Gross whips a curler off the post and in, and Brighton’s 125th anniversary celebrations are going along swimmingly. Party time at Sussex by the sea.
It’s not shaping up to be a banner day for Queens Park Rangers. Preston’s Johnny Kenny has scored two goals – the first after just 20 seconds – while QPR’s Dennis Cirkin has been given a straight red for a high lunge on Leo Leroy. Just the 26 minutes gone at Loftus Road.
Everton 1-0 Ipswich Town. Another chance for Ipswich, the lively Abdul Fatawu snaffling a loose Jarrad Branthwaite pass and attempting to embarrass Jordan Pickford from long distance. Pickford scampers back and puts a stop to that nonsense, tipping wide. Everton threatening to undo all of their good early work.
Brighton 0-0 Arsenal. A penalty shout from the Arsenal support … but Bukayo Saka stumbled over his own feet, and doesn’t make any claim himself. The in-form champs beginning to work their way into the game after a sluggish start.
As for St Mirren versus Dundee United … well, let Simon McMahon take the floor. “A dream start for United, goals inside the opening 12 minutes from Randall and Cameron putting the Tangerines two up. United fans en fête already.”
Everton 1-0 Ipswich Town. Another big save from Jordan Pickford. Abdul Fatawu meets a corner with a drive through a crowded box, but Pickford parries to deny Ipswich their equaliser.
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